The Lighthouse Writers Top-Secret Blog
All the latest news, ideas, and opinions from Denver's Independent Literary Center: lighthousewriters.org
Heart in Hand
Many years ago, I gave a reading at the Tattered Cover for my first novel All Saints. I talked a bit about the research I’d done for the book, how astonishingly little I’d known going in about Cajun culture, New Orleans in the 1950s, the early Civil Rights movement, etc. Later, I learned that a colleague from CU who was in the audience that night had offered another colleague a sniffing critique of my performance: “Very unprofessional. I would never talk to potential readers about my weaknesses, about what I don’t know.” He also said, “Hollywood will love it,” which, for the record, was not a compliment.
The comments hurt, both the badmouthing of my honest admission of ignorance, and the casual dismissal of a work on which I’d lavished so much attention and love. But the more I thought about it — and I thought about it a lot — the only conclusion that made sense was that the guy was dead wrong, at least in terms of writers admitting ignorance. I believed then, and I believe now, that copping to your weaknesses is useful. Exposing yourself in this way is not always appropriate — confidence is attractive, and no one likes a wallower — but an occasional public humbling reminds you that you are purely human. That humanity is the beating heart of your work.
In that spirit, I offer the following:
In July 2010, I taught a class at Lighthouse’s Grand Lake Writers’ Retreat titled “How to Finally Finish the Damn Book.” At the time I’d been working on a memoir for a year. I’d run into some problems, and the session was intended to address both participants’ anxieties and my own. I couldn’t promise anything close to a definitive solution, of course, but offered a handful of techniques meant to push us all past the inability to complete our projects. That inability is so painful, and so many writers suffer from it. I wanted to honor one of the guiding principles at Lighthouse, that we’re all in this together. I came away from the class hoping I’d helped, at least a little, and grateful to the other writers in that room, energized by the camaraderie. I was convinced that another six months — a year at most — would see my memoir complete.
Nearly two years later, the memoir is not complete. I am one miserable scribbler. I love writing. The project remains meaningful to me. When I can bear to work on it, it’s involving. Good readers, including my agent, have seen parts of the story and offered invaluable criticism. And yet: I. Can’t. Finish. I blame work obligations, too much travel, health problems, the birth of a grandson. Everything interferes. I haven’t blogged for Lighthouse in months because it takes too much mental energy away from the book I am not finishing.
And so, I am using this space to publicly commit to completing a full draft of the memoir, readable from A to Z, before this year’s Grand Lake retreat.
How many of you are in a similar place? Will you join me in the commitment to finish? A public statement is best — announce it here, announce it in a workshop — but if you can’t do that, a promise to yourself will suffice. We have four months. Even if you’ve only just started your book, and even if you won’t be at Grand Lake (though, really, you should come, the place is magic), four months of steady production could change your writing life. If we write or revise 600-800 words each day, in 16 weeks there will be X number of completed 72,000-96,000 word manuscripts.
Wouldn’t that be something?
You’re right! You’re right about copping to personal weakness, to “humanity [being] the beating heart of your work,” and you’re right that we CAN revise/write a full draft before Grand Lake. I’m in. I’m going to have a second draft of this bastardish project which shall not be named in time for GL. Thanks for this, KP. And I can’t wait to read your memoir. xo
I’m with you. I hereby commit to having a full draft of my memoir done by August 31st! YES WE CAN!!!
Darned if this doesn’t sound like a challenge.
Last summer’s GL experience got me to seriously think about picking up an old story for which I’d been compiling notes, clippings, and thoughts for more than a decade (yikes!). Sixteen weeks of Bill Henderson’s novel bootcamp this past fall got me started on the right foot. I believed I could have a complete first draft by the end of June (not so coincidentally in time for Grand Lake). Then I got bogged down with the Holidays, and family, and, frankly, was having trouble deciding on the best starting point for my story.
Then a temptation was put before me that I could have refused. But I didn’t. Ever have one of those “best thing at the right time” events cross your path? Doug Kurtz’s novel class in Jan-Feb proved to be just the right cure for my writing blues, and eight weeks with Doug got me off on the left foot.
When I started Bill’s class last August I figured I’d be much further along than I am (16,900 good words now, at the end of March), but I’m walking–right foot, left foot, word after word, and (knock on wood) I seem to be gaining momentum. My commitment won’t be to a daily word count but rather to writing something everyday (when I do that I often exceed a word goal). Thanks, Karen!
Finish that book and I’ll make you a margarita to sip on the deck at Grand Lake. Hell, I’ll make you two of them.
What about me?
Me too?
ahem…
Count me among the pack of cheerleaders pushing you to finish this work. Having heard you speak of the work and your struggles, I am wishing you the strength,focus, inspiration, or whatever else might be needed to get you to the finish line. I am looking forward to reading it!
Andrea, Amanda, & Ken — Let’s all be accountable. Yes? Hell, yes?
Chris — Ransickritas for everyone!
Miguel — How unexpected to see you here. But thank you for the support. You are a true friend.
I’m in! I’m inspired. Thank you, Karen Palmer. Thank you.
Karen, can you post again in a month to prompt another mass reaffirmation? I’ll be watching, and writing!
Sign me up for KP duty as well!
I will have a spongily formed manuscript by July too.
Amanda — That’s a good idea, checking in again in a month. So … did everyone do their words these past two days? Please say yes. And if you didn’t, well, lie to me. Then go do some work.
Progress comes with avoidance of toxic distractions, and I’m so far pleased with my progress since Monday. My calendar alarm is set for April 26. It will be interesting to see my word tally in a month’s time.
If you pull in the weekend before YES! I was making good Sat/Sun progress, and your Monday message was affirming – refilled the inspiration tank! Looking forward to a little more down time from the mortgage-paying day job this coming weekend.
I can’t wait to read this story! I think about our relationship and can say happily you were my Best Friend. The long talks the dinners in your place, the girls so small. Will be in SB this year during July & August, hope we can get together for sure! I gotta read this book.
Joyce
I’m joining the squad of cheerleaders/finishers, Karen. I look forward to a celebratory toast for your completed draft!
Okay, I’m in. But I haven’t written any words yet because I’m a little behind in my reading. I’ll start tomorrow. April Fools! No, really…
Can’t wait to see you at Grand Lake!
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